I’ve been playing games for almost 3 decades and I’ve owned almost every Xbox, so the online factor is there and overall easily accessible but I just never got this community feel I read in some places, my most played games are probably WWE 2k14 and Tekken 7 and 8, yet I’ve never interacted with anyone, I don’t have a headset and I don’t wanna hear voice or chat while playing though, it just distracts me and I despise losing, but apparently the people connect, make friends and a few even found love while playing their favourite game.
I envy them.
Is like the only hobby I have and tbh it isolated me even more from getting any type of affection or contact.
Some people mention discord but that awful app is terrible plus people act weird there, is like the game is very secondary there and just post cringe stuff instead.
IMO competitive multiplayer games aren’t great for socialization.
I mostly play games to keep up with friends who live far away, and the best games for this IMO are things like Minecraft, but casually playing an MMO or a shooter works too. Getting too into it means you have to focus too much on the game and can be worse for socializing.
Also idk about meeting people this way. I know people who have met online over gaming, but for me I’m mostly playing with people I already met. I will say the closest I’ve come to making online friends was on a public Minecraft server with about 30 regular players over the course of several years.
I will say, you’re complaining about community while only playing 1v1 versus games. I don’t think anyone would call WWE 2k14 or the Tekken games really “community focused,” and certainly not to the same level as games like World of Warcraft or Warframe. I’d even argue other PvP focused titles would offer better communities, as team-focused titles like Deadlock and Marvel Rivals incentivize players to seek out other players they enjoy playing with. Solo 1v1s just don’t incentivize community in the same way.
People shit all over parasocial relationships, but gaming communities, especially online ones, are types of parasocial relationships.
Getting involved is different and more aloof than getting involved in an in-person community.
Unlike being the guy standing in the corner visibly not involved so someone can see you and say “hey come join the fun” that doesn’t happen so often online because you can have 15 people all idling nowhere near their computers only to come back to a message 16 hours later “come and join the fun” when the fun is all said and done.
I don’t make friends gaming personally, but I’m pretty sure its literally as easy as “hey, wanna stay as a group” -> “yo I’m getting off, lemme add you guys lets play again sometime” -> “yo wanna queue?” -> repeat until someone says "hey wanna just add me on discord’ -> appropriately determine further shared interests or determine you dont wanna go any further.
But you do have to be friendly and yourself during gameplay.
The Discord experience very much depends on the people on the server that you’re on. Any medium is just enabling connections, though. The connections themselves are what matter.
From my experience, you need to find a relatively small/niche group for deep connections to form. I’ve found several communities like that. Although, I think my experience is heavily influenced by me being neurodivergent, and finding groups of other neurodivergent people that I get along with. Like, finding groups of nerds who share the same special interests.
hot take: when people say “The discord experience very much depends on the people on the server” (which is a common refrain) since to me it seems you can always say that about any medium with communities I just replace it with “discord sucks”
Sounds like the people you hang out with on discord are poor company.
Discord does an excellent job of facilitating connections between people. If you dislike it because of the people you connect with, that’s not a Discord issue, that’s a people issue.
no, it is a discord issue
How does Discord cause the issue?
Well your experience will depend on a lot of factors. First of all, I think the XBox community isn’t a particularly nice place. If that’s what you tried, I can see how you didn’t like it.
And it will depend on the game. Pick something that caters to your age group. If you’re playing Minecraft or Roblox on a random server, you’ll talk to a bunch of 8 year olds. They’ll talk differently to a grown-up. And if you’re 40, that might not be what you’re looking for.
Plus the game will need some complexity and multiplayer elements. A simple racing game or a smash-em-up will have people talking about random shit. Because there isn’t really anything of substance (game-wise) to discuss.
I’d say your best bet would be something like a MMORPG where you have to complete quests in a group, so you’ll meet the same people again and there is some group identity. Because again, if it’s just random anonymous people who will probably never see each other again… They won’t be particularly nice to each other. That’s kind of the fundamental law of the internet. And even then, it really depends on the server. You need to put in some effort to find a good one.
