Ech

and the first thing they tell us is “don’t worry, the data’s fine”, rather than anything about the human.

I do agree it would have been significantly more considerate to mention that the person is ok first, but I feel like you’re confusing data storage (ie something they’re collecting) with data processing (ie how the device operates). The data in question is the latter. In other words, they are explaining that the problems are being accounted for so that the device can still function in the human it’s attached to.

Do a quick web search of “the seven tenets”.

Especially if they’re victims of domestic violence

Male or female, what other purpose could a law like this serve except to give abusers a route to legally trap their victim?